No one wants to work for a boss that makes your job unbearable, and unfortunately, there seem to be plenty of those out there.
Just last week, a former direct report called me seeking advice, she told me about her boss from hell - the kind that leaves you wondering how someone so horrible could end up in a position of power over others.
She described how he micromanages every little detail, despite having no software engineering background. His constant interference results in wasted time and effort correcting the missteps that follow from his ill-informed decisions, beyond the frustration for her individually, his mismanagement is taking a toll on team productivity and morale. She doesn’t even provide referrals anymore!
Bosses come in all varieties. We have all had good bosses and bad bosses, fair bosses and unfair bosses, inspiring leaders and incompetent leaders. Unfortunately, many of us at some point in our careers will encounter a boss who makes our work life profoundly difficult and unhappy. What is the best strategy for dealing with a boss who is overbearing, petty, irrationally critical, or otherwise problematic? A manager who creates a hostile work environment and lacks even the most basic leadership skills?
First, we must accept the reality that difficult bosses are surprisingly common. Research from the Society for Human Resource Management estimates that two out of every five employees have experienced working for a difficult boss at some point. These problematic managers can have serious consequences, negatively impacting not just productivity and morale but even employee health and well-being.
When confronted with a difficult boss, the initial instinct may be to get angry, argue, or otherwise act out in harmful ways. But that will likely only make the situation much worse. The best approach is to remain calm and professional at all times. Do not engage or escalate conflict. Respond to criticism or unreasonable demands with composure and restraint.
You should also be very clear in establishing boundaries. Let your boss know, respectfully but firmly, what you will and will not do. Be specific about what is acceptable and unacceptable. Difficult bosses will often push the limits of their employees, so you must be willing to push back when those limits have been reached.
Communication is also critical. If there are ongoing issues with your boss that need to be addressed, schedule a meeting to discuss them. Come prepared with clear examples and suggestions for improvement. Frame the issues around business objectives and workplace productivity rather than personal differences. The goal should be to have a constructive dialogue, not an argument.
You may also want to consider seeking the support of others. Talk to your colleagues, friends or family. See if they have any advice or can provide a sympathetic ear. You may even want to bring the issues to HR or upper management, using the skip level procedures provided for in your organization; especially if the behavior of your boss is abusive or illegal.
In some cases, despite your best efforts, the situation may remain intolerable. If your work and well-being continue to suffer, you may need to make the difficult choice to leave your job. As painful as it can be, removing yourself from the toxic environment may be the only way to find relief from an unreasonably difficult boss.
To be honest, there are few easy fixes when dealing with a boss who makes your work life hard. But by staying professional, setting clear boundaries, communicating well and seeking outside support, you can improve the relationship or at the very least make the situation more bearable until the time comes to move on. The high road is often the hardest, but it is the path that maintains your integrity and leads to the best outcomes.